Around my 25th birthday last year, I made a life plan, more specifically, a five year life plan. Turning 25 was a big deal for me. I contemplated my life and thought of the things I’ve done and achieved, but I came up disappointed. Make no mistake, having and raising a child with the man I love surpasses anything I could’ve ever conceptualized, but now it’s time to think of our future together, and how to make it a remarkable one.

Why a five year plan, you ask? It’s simple. In five years, I’ll be 30 and I don’t want to be struggling emotionally, physically, spiritually, or financially. I want to be sure of myself. I want my body, mind, and spirit to finally align. I’ve come across multiple articles (when I was on a quest to make sure I wasn’t the only one feeling this way) about how your twenties are all about finding yourself, going through personal struggles, but eventually figuring your life out.

Additionally, I thought I would’ve figured my life out by now, I thought I’d be a college graduate with a career, making a hefty income, living independently, traveling, and just living life to the absolute fullest. Like always, shit happens, things don’t go as planned, but you just work with what you’ve been given, stay grateful, and move on. I decided I didn’t want to relive my regrets, dwell on what should’ve, could’ve, or would’ve been, but instead, what my life will be.

Keeping all that in mind, I’d like to share with you my five year plan. What I’ve written, was done several months ago on the notes section of my phone. I wanted it written down somewhere easily accessible so that I could visualize myself attaining these things while reading through it everyday.

Here’s my list. Unedited:

(This list also contains my boyfriend’s plans which are based on our numerous conversations. It wouldn’t make sense if I had a life plan that didn’t include his aspirations)

  • Associate degree in Supervision and Management-Graduate Spring 2018
  • Bachelors of Science degree in Public Administration -Graduate Spring 2020
  • Master of Public Administration-Graduate Spring 2021
  • Boyfriend’s certification/trade-Graduate Spring 2020 (start Fall 2018)
  • Holding down our part-time/full-time jobs (possibly including health care and life insurance) all while we complete our degrees/certification and continue to save in the mean time
  • Married (bohemian/nature aesthetics)
  • More babies (possibly two more at  27, and 29 years old. No more kids after 30)
  • More plant babies (be able to live off of our personal garden of herbs, veggies, and fruits, as well as a ton of cacti, succulents, lithops, etc.)
  • Home owners (a beautiful modern and minimalist home with a ton of greenery/garden and back yard entertainment area-long-term), get our own apartment (short-term)
  • Long-term careers (based off of  our degree(s)/certification obtained, definitely comes with a health care and life insurance plan)
  • Personal business that involves our hobbies and creativity (create a business plan)
  • Large savings (for our child(ren))
  • No debt and high credit scores
  • Travel (experience other cultures)
  • Stay educated (self-efficacy and self-knowledge)
  • Happiness and positive vibrations within
  • Successful
  • Living an authentic, organic, cruelty-free, and vegan life (body and skin care, makeup products and tools, scrubs, lotions, oils, clothes, and food and beverages included)
  • Healthy and fit lifestyles
  • “Aspire to Inspire” and to spread and radiate positivity in other’s lives.

Tada!  It’s a pretty basic list, but it helps me to have it all written down. When it’s all laid out in front of me, it gives me hope that I actually know what I’m doing with my life, what I want out of life, and I’m not just wasting my time. I suggest that everyone write a personal life plan, if you don’t have one already. It puts your life back in to perspective, even if it’s only for a short while.

In my next post, I’ll elaborate on how me and my boyfriend plan on executing these goals using not just any secret, but The Secret. (HINT).

Some of you (if anyone is actually reading this) might be wondering what the meaning is behind my chosen blog name, Stay Wild Mama. A lot of thought was put in to this name when I decided to start blogging. I wanted to create a name that would be something I loved, expressed who I was, and of course, was catchy.

First, I’d have to back track, and explain that I’ve always been pretty enamored with the quote, “Stay gold.” The origin of this quote is actually from a novel written by S.E. Hinton, called “The Outsiders”. In this novel turned movie, Robert Frost’s poem, “Nothing Gold Can Stay” is referenced by one of the main characters, and the famous line from the movie, “Stay gold, Pony boy, stay gold” was born.

“Stay gold” was my daily mantra throughout high school. To me, it meant staying true to myself no matter what anyone said or thought about me. I had a really great group of friends who I knew accepted me as I was, but I did have those times when I felt judged based on my unique sense of style, taste in music, or simply because I wasn’t doing the same things everyone else was doing. I mean, it’s high school, it’s a given to feel a little out of place.

When it comes to the word, “Wild”, I think of both mother nature, and being in touch with our raw, unfiltered selves. A goal of mine is to live as much of an organic, happy, and adventure filled life as me and my family possibly can. Adventurous is definitely not a word I’d be described as by the people close to me, but it is something I’d like to become for the sake of my child and future children. I mainly want to pursue a more adventurous life by pushing myself out of my comfort zone, and experiencing life without inhibition. I want my child(ren) to live a life without self doubt, something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

Lastly, we arrive at the word, “Mama”. This is by far the best word I have ever had the honor of being. Every cliche thing people have said about parenthood is absolutely true. I’ve experienced the creation of my little person, the unending stress and emotional rollercoasters, that heart aching kind of love, and everything in between. I believe it all to be such a beautiful process, and I’m still learning to be the best mama and provider I can for my daughter. I hope to add more little ones to my family one day, but for now, I am undoubtedly content.

There you have it! I believe that this blog name embodies who I was, who I am, and who I strive to be.

I’ve decided to create and write an anonymous blog. How original. I’ve played around with the idea of writing in a blog because I believe that it’s such a positive and creative outlet to have. I’ve always hesitated with this idea for fear of judgement, and for the simple realization that I’m probably too lazy to even write entries on a regular basis. After much deliberation, but mostly understanding that I could just delete this whole thing without ramification, I’ve determined, why the fuck not?

Although, anonymous, there are a couple of things I would like to reveal about myself for the purpose of documenting where I am at this stage in my life. I’m a 25 year old mother. My daughter is 14 months old, and I raise her with my boyfriend (her father). They are my world, I’ve never pictured life with them, and now I can’t picture my life without them [insert heart eyes emoji here]. Seriously though, it’s a pretty amazing feeling to know that you are as loved as you love.

Essentially, I love my life and the people I share this life with, but I guess I’ve just always envisioned my life with  several more items crossed off. I don’t know what the next step is for me or how my life will turn out, but I constantly get this “stuck” feeling that I can’t seem to shake. Maybe what I’m experiencing is either a mid-life crisis, or late post-partum depression, or possibly a combination of the two. I also don’t really know what I’m expecting to get out of seeing all of my private thoughts thrown together into a couple of decently structured sentences, or if any one else will ever get to read this. At best, I hope that I’m able to look back on these entries and to just reflect and feel grateful for how far I’ve come, so here it goes. 

Disclaimer: I have no professional writing experience, and I apologize in advance for all of the grammatical  errors that I guarantee you’ll find.